Day 1: The Fool
by tsukinopen
Summary: <html><head></head>Ken Kaneki was an ordinary student in a world much like ours. There were no ghouls, vampires, or zombies, and no particular supernatural tragedy to speak of…, but he was still a Fool.</html>


Day 1: Fool

Ken Kaneki and his best and only friend Hideyoshi Nagachika sat on a bench under the shade of a beautiful tree at Kamii University.

"Kaneki! Hey Kaneki, when are you going to take me to that coffee shop with you-no-who?" asked Hide.

"No, I am not going to the Harry Potter club at Kamii?", said the irritated Kaneki over Sen Takatsuki.'s Black Goat's Egg. If one flipped over the cover and looked at the book flap, one would see an upstanding female author. The gleam in her eyes would most noticeably not stem from first hand experience of cannibalism. Instead, it would come from enthusiasm towards pushing boundaries.

Although, no one could really tell, and no one would ever dare say they could, which is why I will assure you of her status as an upstanding citizen of Japan.

Going back to our innocent young lad.

"Are you even listening, Kaa-neee-ki? " whined Hide.

"I was talking about the girl you've been head over heels in love with at a coffee shop, which you will be taking me to right now!" continued Hide.

"Wha-! No, no, it's just a crush! She pretty, so naturally, boys have a crush on her. Yes, tons of boys are crushing on her. Thaahat is how it is!", replied the now stuttering teen.

Kaneki cursed Hide (not really) for ruining his de-stressing afternoon read of the Black Goat's Egg. He had just gotten to the climax of the protagonist's deteriorating mental state, but no… No! It was all taken away from him. The knowledge that the book had, would continue onto the next page was not enough. No the atmosphere was ruined! He would have to read the book again for the fifty seventh time…

I, the writer, understand him very well. Sometimes the knowledge of a new chapter or sequels to a certain manga…would not deter me from angsting over the time that separated me from it. During that time, this demented writer would reread the last few chapters leading up to this new chapter…in anticipation of those fifteen to forty five pages…yes….

Back to the star of this piece of -fiction… Kaneki

"Kanekichi…just crushing? I can see the anime sparkles in your eyes, and this isn't even an anime (or manga) " said the smug Hide as his eyebrows wiggled.

"Whaaatever, my homework for Lit isn't gonna finish itself, so I really don't have time today" said the studious Ken Kaneki, would was currently in his alter ego: Takatsuki-sensei's rabid fan.

Hide knew better. Despite he alter ego, Ken Kaneki was a golden tree of knowledge who was always fascinated with gaining knowledge when not reading his creep novels (sorry Kanekichi!). Yes, a true researcher, just like his father, who had passed away in the middle of fieldwork.

"which you'll finish in two hours tops! Come on let's go! I leave you alone for book time tomorrow!" promised Hide.

Book time? Uninterrupted book time?! As much as Hide was to him as blood was to vampires, who obviously did not exist, books were his POT. By POT, he means that anime some members of the female population use to create the most ridiculous -fiction pairings imaginable. Not that he would know, since he wasn't into that stuff. Of course there was no way a beautiful girl like Rize was a fujoshi. She was too pure and too sophisticated to read that mountain of trash. He would never look at respectful language (Keigo) the same way again.

Back to Hide's offer. There was no way Kaneki would refuse. He would have to wait until next week before Hide came up with another request ridiculous enough warrant a Hide mute button pass.

"Promise…?" said Kaneki with the most serious expression Hide had seen this week. Oh, it was hook, line, and sinker, and it was so easy. It just required two hours of loneliness, in which he would wonder how someone could be so near, yet so far away.

"Of course!" assured Hide, and Kaneki trusted him. It wasn't because Hide was trustworthy in keeping these types of promises. No, it was because the first time he made such a promise, Hide had tried to renege, and he faced the most disastrous consequence: the silent treatment.

" Pink swear on Himitsu Chouhouin Erika?" continued Kaneki.

"Yes…I'm swear on Chiakichin!" Hide said, quickly sealing the deal.

"…Fine." said Kaneki looked sideways and huffed. It was times like this he wondered how they were even friends when he was coerced (fine bribed) into doing things he never wanted to do every week.

Nah…he knew why. Hide was the hidden gum under his shoe. He popped out when Kaneki least expected it, and hurled him out of doom and gloom. He was only one Kaneki could never push away.

" Alright! Put that book away Kaneki! It time to take a look at that pretty girl of yours!" yelled the excited Hide.

"Shhh…not so loud. People will think I actually have a girlfriend!" shushed Kaneki.

" Ah ah ah, don't be shy! Think of it as an early announcement!" teased Hide as he ran off.

" Wait! I still need to put my book back!" yelled Kaneki. He couldn't damage Takatsuki-sensei book. The hours spent flipping through this national treasure could never be replaced. Hide wouldn't understand.

ばかねき ばかねき ばかねき ばかねき ばかねき ばかねき ばかんだ すまない

Time Skip: the time it took to get to Antique, sorry Anteiku and sit down

"Uwaaa! Is that the girl! She got that look Erica-chin has whe…when" Hide gushed, before he was interrupted by Kaneki's "No! No ,and where?! I don't see it! "

Kaneki had to admit this girl was cute, but Rize-san was the only one for him. Who else could he take to bookstore dates or relax in libraries with? No, no he couldn't go into his fantasies now.

"It's…" Kaneki started. Suddenly his angel came through the door. Kaneki wanted to hide his blush behind a book, but he settled for his book bag.

"No way! Her?! She out of your league, Kanekichi!" whispered Hide.

" I know! That's why I said it was just a crush!", Kaneki whispered back. Why they were whispering like otaku over the latest Young Jump during a college lecture, he had no idea at the moment.

"Mmm…sorry Kanekichi. I should have known you'd crush on the hottest babe around! " said Hide.

"Don't apologize...it's too late for that! I...I'll just sit here and admire her silently." said Kaneki.

"Like a stalker?" Hide inquired.

"No! Liike an admirer! ...Yeah!" stuttered Kaneki.

"Why don't you go for that waitress over there I was talking about. She looks down to earth. Probably smell like home too! She'd make a great girlfriend!" said Hide.

"Ewww, whose the creepy one now!" said Kaneki.

"Hey, she's coming over!" said the delighted Hide.

董香 骨董 董香 骨董 董香 骨董 董香 骨董 董香 骨董 董香 骨董 董香 骨董 董香 骨董 董香

Touka Kirishima walked towards two bubbly boys, who were unfortunately customers. With the way they whispered and one stuttered, they seemed like fans of soft porn, not that she would know about it.

"Hey beautiful! I'd like a cappuccino and your name and number!" yelled the blonde bubble as he grasp her hand.

They were bubbles. Unimportant innocent bubbles, who probably never had their first time. She would flee with dignity.

"Waait pretty lady, my friend hasn't ordered yet!" yelled the annoying blonde again.

" It's okay, I'm leaving!" said his annoyed obsidian black-haired friend.

"Kaneki…that's rude…order sometime!", said the blonde boy.

" Hide I think it would be ruder not leaving after you behavior Ahode!" said the boy now named Kaneki.

Touka agreed with Kaneko er Kaneki. The rude blonde would do the shop a service by heading out.

あほで あほで あほで あほで あほで あほで あほで あほで あほで あほで

Kaneki quickly got up, and unfortunately, or fortunately, knocked into one Rize Kamishiro, who was on her way to depositing her empty coffee cup, which once held black coffee, and sweet tart she only nibbled in the trash .

Rize wasn't a foodie, and she liked keeping her weight down. She did like eating, but it wasn't the type of eating most people first think about.

"Yes, that Kaneki boy. He wasn't a wealthy young master, but he was just so cute. She'd smother him senseless, and keep his things as a memento. Yes…" she thought.

神風じゃない 神風じゃない 神風じゃない 神風じゃない 神風じゃない 神風じゃない

"Sssoorry", stuttered the delectable Kaneki-kun as his book somehow fell out his book bag onto the floor despite his upmost care. Maybe it had something to do with putting it on top so it wouldn't be crushed.

" Oh wow, this is interesting! I've been reading it myself!" Rize said with a wink.

"Do you love Takatsuki-sensei's work?" asked Rize.

" Yes! Yess! I love Takatsuki-sensei… I..I mean her work!" stammered Kaneki-kun.

"Fu fu fu…so do I .." said Rize.

And thus did they chatted away for longer than Hide could ever sit still in a Japanese Literature lecture.

逃げちゃだめだ 逃げちゃだめだ 逃げちゃだめだ 逃げちゃだめだ 逃げちゃだめだ

The very next day, on their shady bench, Kaneki talked on and on about his conversation with Rize, which Hide was present for. Hide didn't need to try to keep his promise because he could hardly get a word in.

"Aaand..and then Rize said..." went the enthusiastic Kaneki during his book time.

" You know, I don't know if you should go on this date with this Rize girl Kanekichi" said Hide quietly.

Kaneki finally stopped acting like Hide. OOC could only go for so long. Apparently, he could hear anything that was not a well wish for his future relationship just fine over his own loud voice.

"Hide, do you like I'm not suited for her?" said the suddenly depressed Kaneki.

"No! no! Just … I just have feeling… that maybe something will go wrong, but maybe it's just me" said Hide as he rubbed his chin. He hadn't meant to swap places and become doom and gloom when his friend finally had something to look forward to.

"Hide…don't tell me your jealous! Don't won't, you'll always be that chewing gun stuck on the soles of my shoes that I can never get rid of", assured Kaneki.

" Hey, how dare you! Jeez! I can't stop you can I? Just report back after your date, okay!" said that annoying chewing gum Hide.

" Thanks…" said Kaneki. A real smile graced his lips for the first time in a long time.

Hide smiled back, though that rare smile could not hide his unease.

逃げて 逃げて 逃げて 逃げて 逃げて 逃げて 逃げて 逃げて 逃げて 逃げて

Rize Kamishiro didn't do this for money like most other girls. She did it because she enjoyed it. She licked her lips as she looked at her schedule. Soon..soon she would get her meal.

Kaneki..

Yes..., and if Kaneki tried to escape, she'd tie him . If he tried to tell, she'd make him disappear, but if Kaneki was a good boy... she'd keep him around.

Anyways...

She had better get back to Junjou Romantica. A run in with that gourmet Tsukiyama had ruined her day. He studied social welfare and headed a secret Host Restaurant, but had the gall to talk poorly about her preference and call her rotten (fujoshi). She would never forget the time he stuffed her target with disgustingly rich gourmets food. Said target threw up on her afterwards. She sent said target's garment back to the rich trash, with a letter filled with words cute boys like Kaneki should never hear her say, much to his chagrin.


End file.
